Ugly sweater party

Ugly sweater parties are a thing right now. Groups of people get together and try to out ugly each other with Christmas sweaters. Several stores currently carry an "ugly sweater kit"
So you can make yours to your own specified level of ugliness.

My work holiday party was this weekend and there was an ugly sweater theme. After being invited to a few such parties the last couple of years, I finally picked up a sequined, jingle bell adorned vest at the thrift store two years ago in July. It has a lot going on. There are presents, a snowman and perhaps a reindeer. There is hardly an inch to spare and it is quite special.

I donned my ugly sweater vest on Friday evening. When I came out of our room, Amelia couldn't stop admiring it. Of course, I couldn't help but have a little fun at her expense.

Amelia: oh mommy! It's so beautiful!

Mom: oh no! Amelia! That is terrible news!

Amelia: why?

Mom: Amelia! I am going to an UGLY sweater party! This is my ugliest sweater! I want to have the ugliest sweater there. Do you think I will win the ugliest sweater contest?

Amelia: (solemnly shakes her head) no. No, mommy. I don't think you will win because your sweater is beautiful.

Mom: oh Amelia! This is terrible news! I was sure this sweater was ugly! I am so disappointed.

Amelia: I'm sorry mommy, but your sweater is too beautiful!

(So far, I am having no success at getting her to tell me my best is ugly)

John comes in the room. He is wearing a knit sweater with 2 polar bears and a snowflake motiff. His sweater makes me smile, but it isn't ugly.

Mom: hey Amelia! Do you like daddy's sweater?

Amelia: oh! Daddy! Your sweater is beautiful too! I love it!

Mom: Amelia? Who do you think has the ugliest sweater between mommy and daddy?

(I'll get her yet to call my sweater ugly!)

Amelia: oh mommy. I could never call your sweaters ugly. They both are so beautiful. Neither of them is ugly. Not even a little bit.

Foiled. Foiled by a five year old. She is a smart cookie.

Ps. All that my outfit was missing were some Christmassy earrings. I swear I used to have a set of the Christmas trolls with red and green hair. I wonder what happened to them.

Pps. I didn't win the ugly sweater contest.



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