Sad

It comes and goes. When we first moved here it was an adventure. I'll admit the adventure is gone and in the process we have found many wonderful places in our area we love.

It was never my intention to settle here permanently. Yet, here we are rapidly approaching the 10 year anniversary of breaking ground on our house. Unbelievable. It was always in our long term plan to return closer to our family before the kids started school. But, it just isn't happening for us.

I'm still sad every time we leave Minnesota behind. When we get in the car and drive away from our family, I feel like a piece of my heart has been left behind.

I'm sad when I go to a school/church/community event and I see other families together. Grandparents and cousins cheering a 5 year old at a turtle paced tee ball game have reduced me to tears at least one time this year (will admit, baby hormones were potentially involved here).

I'm sad when I know I'm missing important family events. This weekend was a bridal shower for my sister in law to be. I wanted to attend. Badly. However the distance is too great for a weekend trip. Other times we have missed graduations, birthdays, confirmations, and other celebrations. Everyone is so understanding. Everyone knows we can't be there. When we can make it, people are so appreciative.

We've built ourselves a great little community. Our kids happily call several women at church "grandma" - Relationships that delight both my children and the "grandmas". We have had "aunties" and an " uncle" step in for events when the need arises.

The grandparents do a great job of making events when possible- even moving around busy schedules to attend pumpkin outings with preschoolers. Even though we are hundreds of miles away, our children have managed to see their grandparents once a month for their entire first year of life (still a work in progress).

Yet, I'm still sad. I still long for my family to be available and to be more involved with then. As the holidays approach, it's harder to be away from them. I will most likely miss the annual lefse cook with my mom and auntA. I am missing more of my niece's first year than should be allowed. When your sister has a child, you should be able to kiss the baby's cheeks at least on a weekly basis, more if possible.

Waiting for the right opportunity is hard....


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